Safe Haven [Tag: April]

Date: Nov. 5th
Time: 5:19 AM
Location: April's Apartment



(Takes place four hours after The Predators' Hour )

---

Four hours had past since the incident with Love. Just like his 'experience' with Mikko, the whole ordeal left him greatly confused and feeling dirty, and more horrifying.. completely out of control. Like Mikko, the large reptile had lost all rationality when his most basic instinct was triggered. Their teasing coupled with their overpowering scents had awoken the primal beast within. To say that it was scary would be an understatement; knowing damn well that he could have killed either one of them. There was also the fact that he could not make conscious decisions as to whether or not he wanted to be intimate with them. It just.... happened. Both had dangled the bait and the beast within swallowed that dangerous jagged hook deep into his depths...


Mikko couldn't have known what she was doing. She was human, after all and most likely never considered that he wouldn't be able to make a rational decision if she threw the temptation at him. Of course, she was completely responsible and to blame for breaking his heart after, choosing Gabriel over him. No doubt because Gabe was human and she could have a normal life with him. Despite Mikko's claims that she never meant to hurt him, Raphael thought differently. He had been a novelty item, a rarity to experience just for the sake of doing so, despite the pain and overwhelming sense of rejection she had cast over him.


The Hot-Head had yet to rebound from that experience when Love came into the picture...


His thoughts were still going in a violent, destructive circle when Raphael finally returned to April's apartment. Putting to use his ninja stealth and tip-toeing through the old place, breathing a sigh of relief when he didn't see the red-head waiting for him on the couch. Normally he would have simply thought his human sister was still lost in the bliss of sleep, but his senses told him otherwise. Her scent was faint, not strong as it would have been if she was within the proximity. It slightly concerned him, but he knew that April was adventurous and had mentioned meeting up with an old friend. Surely they were making the most of it and enjoying their 'girl time'.


Girls. Females. Women. Such evil creatures, he thought as he slipped into the bathroom, needing to rid himself of the fur and bodily fluids that April would surely detect. Closing the door behind him, the self-conscious Reptile braved a glance at his ugly mug in the mirror, always feeling that he was the less attractive of his brothers. Deep down, he felt that his brothers would all find love and happiness and he would always be nothing more than a 'play thing' for the opposite sex. Indeed, females were cruel...


..except April. The red-head was definitely the exception, and the only one of her kind. It kind of sucked that she was off the market... but if things were different, would he ever really pursue her knowing what he knew now? That he could lose it in the heat of passion and hurt her? Would his brothers have this same problem?? God, how he desperately needed someone to talk to, but feared his brothers were still angry since they had put absolutely no effort into reaching out to him. Except for Mikey. The orange clad Turtle would never know just how much Raph appreciated the gesture.


Sighing at what he felt was a hideous reflection staring back at him, Raph ran his fingers over the set of claw marks that Love had left him with. The gashes were deep, but that was the least of his problems. Not bothering to treat the wound, the Mutant turned on the water, allowing it to warm to a cold-blooded creature's approval as he removed his red dew rag, then began stripping of his gear. Hesitating for a brief moment and wondering if anything was truly worth it anymore, the depressed Turtle finally turned on the shower and stepped beneath its warm comfort, sighing with a tinge of contentment as the water cascaded over knotted and tense muscles. If only it could put his mind at ease...


Like an unrelenting demon hell bent on destroying and fiber of peace, the violent thoughts came rushing back. Love. How she had lured him in and tempted him until he lost control. He had told her no.. why  couldn't she listen?! There had been desperation in his final answer, knowing if she played her cards just right, she would get what she wanted.. despite it being against his consent. She had... raped him. His body had been a willing participant but his heart and soul knew of the damage it would cause. Unfortunately the animal within won out. Now he would be left with the consequences.


Pressing his achy forehead against the wall's coolness, hot tears burned at the back of his golden eyes as his heart embraced the irreversible damage he had inadvertently done. Donatello would certainly find out because Raph knew that Love now had it out for him. God.. this was going to crush his sweet-natured brother!  He had fucked up big time and he was certain that Donnie would never forgive him. How could he? Surely the brainy Turtle would see it as an act of betrayal, because it was pretty clear how Don felt about the Cat.


After sinking to this level, could he ever really go home? Would he be welcomed? No... he couldn't. This act would surely push away those he held dear.. possibly even April...


There was no holding back the sorrowful, heartbroken tears as cruel reality took hold, reminding him that he would cause his deepest fear to come to pass; he would lose his family.  An anguished scream cut through the quietness as his fist made hard contact with the shower wall, busting his knuckles and leaving a hole there. He recoiled and struck again, but fortunately for the poor wall the slippery surface and angry reptilian feet were a bad combination. He lost his balance and fell back onto his carapace. Body shaking with the grief and emotional pain, the usually red-wearing Turtle didn't bother to pick himself back up.. what was the point? He was down in every context. Still, being a Turtle meant being on your back was extremely uncomfortable so he managed to push himself into a sitting position, the water rolling over him as he hiccupped, sniffled and heaved with every uncontrollable sob...

Their long night -

The race through the dark underground.

April and Shaya were both.

Filthy.

And foot sore.

With troubling findings they had to go through. They had split up upon exiting sewers and April would go see her friend later today. Go over what they found together after they had both had a chance to bathe, sleep and eat and calm severely jolted, shaken to their core nerves.

She was just trudging up the steps past the silent and dark first floor antique Second Time Round when a scream tore into her.

Anguished and deep she recognized which brother it was from.

"Raphael?!" He own sounded much like the time she had watched in horror as a megatron slash battleaxe demon child Shredder had been kicking the snot out of her red clad brother not long after meeting them! And her heart plummeted!

She forwent worrying about her filthy boots trekking the crap right through her home actually not noting in the rush, leaving the duffle bag on the steps when she had heard the scream frantically searching her home - but everything was in order!?

And it was then in the moment of confusion she noted the sound of running water and hurried to the bathroom stepping within the dark confines. "Raph?..." She found him - and though she did not understand what was going on, her body shaking from residual adrenaline from the nights escapades and a fresh hit from his anguished scream. He seemed.... broken.... she steps over to the shower and not caring she got wet steps into the tub noting the mangled wall and the cracking in the ceramic around her.

He had fallen.

She turns the water off a little to late as thoroughly soaked to the bone as she kneels slowly, uncomfortably in the non existent space arms sliding about shoulders drawing him to the crook of her shoulder and neck, holding him a hand on his shell rubbing. She had no idea what was going on, her body now shaking with the force of his emotional pain which she could do nothing for but let him cry it out whispering soothingly, she was here. He could talk to her...

Completely lost within the depths of grief, despair and anger, Raphael's other senses were completely dulled to his surroundings. Through the deafening sounds of his emotional turmoil, The heartbroken Reptile could faintly hear April cry out, but still, it didn't fully register that she was here, and he would be discovered...


Suddenly he felt welcoming arms embracing him, drawing him in to her warmth and comfort. It completely took him by surprise, but there was no time to hide the tears or play it off... or.. simply run, like he would have if it had been a brother happening upon him. He could have pulled away, but deep down... he knew she was what he needed most of all. An open mind and heart... a warm embrace. Acceptance, but after what he had done, if April had known what he had inadvertently done to his brainy brother, all of this could be a thing of the past.



The massive Turtle almost immediately melted into her arms, burying  his face against the crook of her neck and just.. cried it out. There was no stopping the storm, nor did he have the strength to do that. He hated all of this confusion and heartache and rejection. Not many knew just how sensitive Raphael really was, because he usually put on that tough boy act, but not this time. The damage and pain was simply too deep, and he feared that things could never go back to how they once where. His brothers were still angry at him, and after finding out what he had done, there would be no redemption.



Raph was quiet for a while, save for the sounds of his emotions taking control of him. His body shook and shivered, in turn rocking April to his violent rhythm, hiccups and uncontrollable tears taking the place of the warm water. Despite the pain, he was mindful to keep the embrace gentle, with the occasional controlled squeeze to convey his appreciation and need for her.


"I.. jus' want it to stop..." He finally spoke, words broken by involuntary 'hics' and sobs. "They'll... hate me... they're all gonna hate me... and you.... you will, too..."

April was always felt so dang small and delicate when hugged by any of her lil green brothers - and yet right now listening to the heart wrenching sobs and wondering what the hell had shattered his tough guy walls so! she felt as if she may also cry with him!

The vulnerability, the rawness...

She did not rush him, just held her soft form warm even if both of them wet, being quivered and shaken and rocked by the forced of her big little brothers grief.

She did not know how long the were there, in that embrace, the apartment silent aside from his heartbreak.

The squuueezes communicating to her he needed her. And everything else that had been on her mind was forgotten and all that was left was trying to decipher his broken sentences. "Shhhh Raph.... it's okay.... we.... I could never hate you." She cups his cheek with one hand bringing those pained eyes to her own, reflecting worry and fear and most of all as ever her love for them. "I could never hate you..." Her thumbs brushes over the cheek tears. "Breath.... just tell me what has shaken you so Raphie."

After giving April broken glimpses into his heartache, Raphael fell silent once again, too choked up to find the words. He simply clung to her, tear stricken face buried against her until a motherly hand forced his gaze to meet hers and she flicked away some of his tears, only to have them replaced with more. God, how he hated this. Being so weak and raw and vulnerable, completely stripped and exposed to his core. Though his weakness was an obvious sign that he had held it all in for far too long, the fact that he allowed April to see him like this was a sign of complete and absolute trust.


April claimed that she could never hate him, but would that change as soon as he told her the extent of the damage he would cause? He struggled to keep it all bottled up, but deep down, he knew it was toxic. Doing so would only poison him. He needed someone to confide in, and she was the only one that would ever see this side of him....


"I..I fucked up, Ape..." He managed through violent sniffles and hiccups that shook him, his eyes already becoming puffy and extremely irritated, but the tears showed no signs of relenting.


"Love. I...she...she came onto me... I told her no, but she wouldn't stop, and..." Another violent shudder as a combination of sobs and hiccups and heaving rattled him against his fragile will. "I... I couldn't help it...I... we... she.." And though the word 'rape' hung at the tip of his tongue, he couldn't make this about himself, not when his actions, though unintentional, would crush his brother. "I couldn't control it..." Another long pause with nothing but involuntary noises to fill the void.

Her thumb continued the gentle stroking watching his gaze.

Oh lord he looked so beaten, one of the strongest most fierce beings she knew just had no fight left within him for now. The last sparks cruelly smothered by something dirty, and cloying.

And she knew despite her reassurances he would still feel she could feel anything but the deep sisterly bond and love she had for them.  Taking in his still broken sentences this time resting her forehead against his. "Oh.... oh Raphael...." She whispers her own heart breaking for him. Slowly piecing together what he was saying, what had occurred, what Love had done.

And she meets that gaze imploring him to see in her own green orbs no anger at him - later she would feel anger, and it would be for the mature cat mutant that had taken advantage of her brother. And no hate.

Never hate.

"You keep saying you fucked up - but.... it sounds to me a mature, older mutant cat female just took advantage of you, hurt you. Perhaps knowing you would not be able to stop, perhaps not... but the moment you said no she should have backed off..." Her words were soft and hand on his shell still rubbing those slow circles still resting against him, embracing, soothing. "I could never hate you for that.... never.... you did nothing wrong Raphie..." and a few of her own tears escaped - ooooh the hurt he was suffering, maybe beyond what she could heal. And this was going to hurt another green brother - hopefully he too would seek her console.... and knew his brother had not meant it... and not let this woman come further between them.

She had to warn the rest of her family about this cat, to do this to her green bro. But later, right now she was his big sister, his mother, his confidante.

Later she would be vengeful. Her anger and hate turning towards the one whom had done this to him.

Raphael braced himself for the inevitable. The lack of understanding, the scolding.. the rejection. Because sleeping with your brother's crush was morally unacceptable and though unintentional, he had committed that horrible crime. Fortunately for him, April was an exceptional person and understood that he wasn't completely in control of himself at all times.


God, how lucky he was to have her...

There was nothing but acceptance and understanding, and that big sister protective nature never faltered, not even for a second.  Sometimes, Raph honestly didn't think he deserved April, but was extremely grateful and appreciative for her nonetheless. Releasing the fearful breath that he had been holding since making his confession,  Raph gave her another light squeeze, his sorrowful gaze conveying the level of his gratitude since he didn't trust his voice right now.


Now grateful that he had chosen to confide in her rather than keep it bottled up within sensitive confines, Raph once again buried his face against her neck, rocking gently in an attempt at soothing.. both of them. He had noticed her own tears and felt responsible, but he realized that it meant she truly understood his pain and grieved with him...


"Thank you.." He murmured, tone barely a whisper and once again cracking beneath the weight of emotion.


He felt lighter now, having someone trustworthy to talk to; someone who understood and cared about him regardless of his flaws. Regardless of the countless times he had messed up, even though she had assured him that he wasn't to blame in this.  "I've.. already lost Donnie... and Leo..." Raph commented quietly, once again shifting his gaze to meet hers. "Even if I hadn't before now...Donnie ain't gonna forgive me.." He voiced his fears, the sobs finally quieting from exhaustion and a weight being lifted thanks to her, but the tears still fell. He couldn't understand why Leo and Donnie didn't try to contact him. Yeah, there was the whole 'giving space' thing, which was good.. but it had been almost a week. Did they hate him? And now they had a reason, even though he had tried to stop it....


His bloodshot gaze met hers, conveying the sorrow that the next topic harbored.. "It... sucks. Havin' morals an' tryin' to live by human standards, even though we can't be a part of that world and... there's this other side to me... one that probably bypassed my brothers... this... animal side of me..." Interrupted once again by more ugly cry noises; hiccups and heaves. "I.. don't want this.. Ape.. I don't wanna be an animal..."

April's arm about him just snugged him tighter to her hand on his cheek lightly taping fingers and noting finally, the scratches. Then his hand. "mmmm your welcome." She sighs lightly touching these physical wounds that would heal much quicker than any within.

She traces them carefully none the less in no rush, and content to not move until he was ready - hand on his carapace still drawing gentle circles listening to him.

And she had to admit she was surprised his brothers had not been here sooner looking for him. But no she would not doubt they cared, or would come. They would. She noted he did not include Mikey int he lost list and it made her wonder if he had had conteact with his orange clad younger brother.

"Well... the things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end." She answers her voice firm, "Your brothers are not lost - maybe they like you do not know how to over come this, but they will... and even this... what has happened with... that... woman." She sighs and smooches that forehead.

She was their big sister, almost motherly in fact... and knew she comforted, heard a lot of their darkest secrets, their fears, their hopes. But she wondered suddenly if Raphael needed someone of his own, closer than Casey, his father, his brothers... even her? And the thought seemed to claw itself deep into her heart, confirmed when he looked at her just sooooo. Her eyes and voice was firm and yet gentle as her hands. "You are a part of this world - you and your father, your brothers cannot do what yous do without influencing someone, inspiring some body, maybe even giving a person a chance to pay forward such acts of bravery and selflessness. You do inevitably change the course of lives all the time. Very much so a part of this world."

And some day maybe to someone of his own - their entire world.

"Your not a beast Raphael, not some animal, it's just been your bad luck so far a couple of selfish females have turned you against yourself for their own gratification it seems with no knowledge that they were or thoughtof how it would affect you and those you hold dear or regard to your feelings. You not some animal." And she felt a touch of anger - no no more! Her green brother deserved better! And he was going to get it!

They all did. But in the forefront of her worry right now was Raphael and Donatello.



Her gaze holds his.

Raphael listened as she spoke, his glossy gaze trying desperately to hold her's as he struggled to get raw emotions under control. How he hated this. Being so vulnerable and weak and completely exposed. That bad boy exterior broken with seemingly no hope of being as strong again...


Was this what humans referred to when they talked about 'awkward teenage years'? Surely it had to be better for people. They had choices, after all. They could also control themselves.. unlike him. The animal. Still, April's words did manage to bring him some comfort. To know that she still viewed him the same and understood that what had happened was out of his control. How she spoke so sweetly about the changes he made to people... even if he could never be a part of their world or experience the things he yearned for..




..and in that moment, he realized how much he loved April. In every sense of the word. How could he not? "Thanks, Ape." He whispered quietly, a bulky hand reaching up to wipe at the fallen tears that continued despite the fact that body wrenching sobs had calmed. "I wish...more females were like you.." Not that it would matter, because deep down, he feared that he would never be good enough or worthy of that kind of companionship. Plus, he knew April was a rarity and even though there would never be anything other than an overwhelmingly strong family bond between them, he knew how lucky he was to have this incredible woman in his life. At this point, he was confident that April was the only woman who wasn't Satan's spawn. "Casey's lucky.." And how many times had he said that over the last week? Tons.


He still felt broken and weak as if the very life had left him, but the once warm water droplets began to cool on his reptilian skin, becoming uncomfortable, and even in his grief-stricken state, he knew April couldn't be comfortable in her position, hunkered down in the tub. Giving her another gentle squeeze, he nuzzled her shoulder in thanks, a soft churr emitting at the small tinge of contentment that began to settle. His world had come spiraling out of control, but he knew.. April had his back, she always did.. always would...

Sifting her top shirts wet hem she lightly brushes away his hand and the tears that still came watching him, listening as the sobs slowed and finally stopped, giving him a chance to calm and breath and she smiles at the nuzzling not caring her own cheeks were still wet from both having gotten soaked turning off the water and her own tears.

"Your always welcome Lil'Big Brother. Always." She pecks his snout.

She felt even more strongly as he thanked her, so deeply - that her hunch was right. She would always have their shells, be there to hold them and comfort and try to rebuild shattered confidences in themselves when things like this happened. But he needed more than she could give him. As much as she loved them all. She was only and always their big sister.

"there are a few whom are like me." She whispers, "and one day -" soon if she had her way about it! "You'll see too... and be as lucky as my lovable oaf Casey." She assures him, her voice full of a promise and warmth and - maybe she hoped under all the pain and fear, his self doubt and loathing she had just ignited a bit of curiosity as to what she meant. Give the poor guy anything to hope for, distract him for a bit.

Raphael reached and wiped away her remaining tears, ashamed that he had caused her this heartache, but deep down, he knew it was for him. As a sister, she loved him that much and it deeply touched him. He was aware that April would never be anything more than a big, protective sister, and while he would love to have something more, he loved her too much to ever mess that up. It had already been proven twice that he could be a danger to anyone seeking intimacy with him, and that scared him to no end.


She spoke of how someday he would meet someone like her and while her comment was meant to give him hope, it stung. "I.. wish I had yer confidence, Ape." He replied quietly, sadly, as if the echoes of his heartbreak could be heard in his tone. "Even if I did.. meet someone who could look past this...I dunno if I'll ever be able to control myself... and that thought alone almost resurrected more tears, but he held them at bay.

Her own eyes reflected now nothing but a warmth and a smile as she nuzzles the hand wiping away her tears. He was still frightened, and unsure and hurting.

Though she knew...

She felt...

She was right...

She cups his cheeks with both hands this time her own eyes filling as his did again and she made no effort to hide hers or the way they slid down her cheeks... his pain in this moment hers - like any big sister... like any mother. She could feel the sting her words brought, but they needed saying, he needed to know she believed he was not an animal, not just a beast, not offering empty comforts, and not just blowing hot air!

That she truly believed he could handle himself, someday, and believed he could find his own ...  her to help him. "It hurts Raphael to hope - I know it does and I cannot stop you being afraid or giving up, but I implore you not to. You will one day be able to control." She shivers a little finally realizing she was cold... but she did not care. He needed her and that was more important... though if she did not coax them out of the tub and getting dry they both might end up with a cold, her more so as her lil green brothers seemed to have very strong immune systems.

Her eyes held his for a few moments. "You don't need my confidence... just to trust in me... I would not lie or trick you - you know it." She smiles, hoping whatever the sting, maybe she could offer him the tiniest bits of hope to hang on to or for him to acknowledge they were there - even if it was just her confidence on the matter - she'll be confident for them both. "Trust me okay - even if you don't believe it - just trust me this bit more."

She shifts to initiate them leaving this crushed tub. "do you feel as if you could eat that meal still in the oven after we dry... I can't have you becoming sick."

Raphael gave a small nod, acknowledging that April would never lie to him... though he did know that she had the tendency to be optimistic and think that others could see them in the same light as she and Casey did. If only the world was that understanding. Hell, it didn't even have to be the whole world... just one person that 'got' him.. who could love him in a way that he secretly yearned for. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen, despite how optimistic and positive that April was, because it was one thing to adore them as friends.. quite another to give up your human existence to love an unattractive beast.



Still, April had been so amazing that he didn't have the heart to tell her that he knew the truth. His head was spinning, heart aching, tears still unrelenting, though thankfully they had slowed. As her own continued to fall, Raph pulled her in once again for another hug, knowing that he would never be able to verbally convey just how damn lucky and thankful he is to have her, but hopefully the gesture spoke volumes....


Indeed, he was cold and body shivering from the once welcoming droplets that now held a bite to them, but his will was gone. Still, he knew that April was less tolerant of the conditions, being a mammal and all. When she made the move for them to leave the busted tub, he slowly followed, stepping out before helping her not to slip.



Nerves and heart still completely frayed, shattered and obliterated, the thought of food didn't appeal to Raph. Still, he knew April was trying to be helpful.. he didn't want to completely turn her down. "Thanks, Ape.. but I'm sure it'll still be good later on..." He told her, wanting her to know that he appreciated it enough to consider it later, but his body refused to take any part in the actions of living...


"I prolly just need to sleep.. " For a few weeks...

Well she certainly appreciated his acquiesce to at least consider her more optimistic outlook. She was soooo going to prove it.

Some how.

It was as he hugged her again - she noted he too shivered a little, yes it was time to dry and warm themselves and go hog that new old lounge she had got, which seemed to be his favorite spot even though she had told him more than once he could have Robyn's room. Though perhaps because it still held a lot of her in there is put him off.... huh she was going to have to get that dealt with.

Hmmmm it gave her an idea... she was too busy to do such chores - but she knew someone she could 'hire' as it was to do it, and she was trust worthy.

And .... and...

She smiles, maybe the look on her face for a moment was one of plottiness - but then she nods giving him a firm look. "Please make sure you do, you'd hate to have to waste any of my store brought cooking." She winks, trying to instill a little humor - maybe entreat a small smile from him. Anything to try breaking the sadness.

And she realized how tired she was when he suggested sleeping. "Oh I agree..." She yawns and sways a little on her feet. "whom knew escaping through the sewers from ...." She blinks and looks at him ad clears her throat. "Ahem, never mind long story - come on lets get us some towels.... leave your gear here - we'll take care of it later." she adds.

Raphael noticed that little devious twinkle in April's eyes, like she was plotting, thinking.. coordinating something huge, but that's how April was. Full of mysteries. To ask would surely be replied with by denial so for the moment the big guy decided to let it go...


Still curious and slightly worried, he grabbed the towels from the cabinet, offering her one and taking two for himself. It would probably take more, but he wasn't too concerned with completely drying... just enough to be comfortable. Her attempt at humor regarding the food earned a faint grin as he worked at ridding his body of the cooling droplets of water.



Then her little slip. Even though she was quick to try and shake him from her trail, it was too late. "Long story, eh? Well in case you ain't noticed... all I got is time..." He told her, wanting to know what his big sis had been up to...

Her thoughts were all over the place despite her tiredness. Thoughts on everything. Her night, the mad dash home, splitting from Shaya to not draw further attention to her more shy, reserved but strong willed best friend.The shock of the weight of her here little brothers grief and pain, and thoughts of turning this around.

She gave him a grin though at his and thanked him for the towel starting with her hair wringing it tightly dry and making a soft groan as it turned out she had not managed to quieten herself quick enough and now heaved a mock sigh. "Oh alright - so maybe my friend Shaya and I did not head out to paint the town polka dot like a pair of hooligans." She admits. "Instead we tried getting some info on what was sending the citizens of this city into a panic." She smiles, "Just like you and Casey, only after picking her up we headed into the the underground, she had samples to collect for work so we did that one the way as we snuck all ninja like through the dark under ground." She winks at him here and peels off her soaked yellow jacket. "We made it to where rumor mill said there has been an increase in military activity- an oh my lord they are not wrong... And this virus" She sighs, "Or whatever is being touted about as a virus by the media - might not be a virus at all." She under her jacket her layers where mostly dry so she rubs the towel over herself as she speaks, warming herself up and glancing at him from time to time as she spoke of the shenanigans she and her friend had gotten into over curiosity. "In any case we got close enough to hear and record some chatter and maybe collect a few interesting samples and photos before we were outed." She frowns a little at this.

"This military is not even standard military, the.... wear of the man that chased us was... it could be described as a cybernetic suit I guess but it was incredible, at some points it even blended into the background, literally Shaya and I watched it change like chameleon skin at one point cornered and frightened and thinking this is it we're going to end up in federal prison using our rudimentary french to try getting out of it... and this guy he has us trapped in a dead end -"

Okay maybe she was enjoying telling this thrilling night adventure and let off here for Raph to ask her to continue if he wished - some of the weariness she had felt lifting a bit as the wet layers came off and she was down to still fairly dry leggings socks and top, which she rubbed the towel over warming herself and drying it further.

Raphael knew that whatever it was, April wouldn't be able to keep it to herself and masked a victorious smirk as the red-head proceeded to tell him all about her exciting night. He tried to assist her with peeling out of her soaked jacket, feeling it was the least he could do after everything she had done for him. He was glad that her clothes hadn't been soaked all the way through and felt bad enough that he jacket had fallen victim.


Hearing all that she had been through, the large turtle couldn't help but to admire her bravery, but her curious nature also worried him to no end. "You gotta be careful, Ape.." He managed to get in as she let up for breath before continuing.


Just like him and Casey. Man. If only he had stuck with his best bud tonight and not broken off for the fear that Love would devour his friend. Visiting her had been a bad idea, and he had carried away little information regarding his whole reasoning for searching her out. Fortunately he was brought back to the present and away from the pain when she mentioned the military's involvement. Frowning deeply, he gave a nod in agreement.


"Yeah, I think it's somethin' bigger than some virus..." And then he remembered she had mentioned having photos and evidence, but he would wait until this story had met it's conclusion before asking about what she had gathered. Then, she stopped and as expected, he urged her own. "C'mon, Ape.. don't leave me hangin.." He poked not willing to just let it fade. "What guy, and how did you two escape?' He questioned, growing worried. "Did he see yer face?" Because the red-clad bad boy knew if that was the case, it could mean trouble for April and her friend. "Need me to get rid of 'im?"

Thanking him finally in the pause of breath and for dramatic effect April smiled and gestured for him to hang the bright yellow jacket on the cabinet doors knob - might as well, it would dry there. His words earned a nod, usually she would point out she was as careful as them, any of them and to not fuss.

But - "Your right - Shaya said the same thing more than once tonight." She shakes her head as he pokes for a continuing and a thoughtful look over took her face.

"Oh he saw both our faces alright, whom ever he was. I could not make out him at all, his suit had a skull like helmet that covered him up... As I said he'd just had us cornered -" Which made her frown a little bit in thought. "But the weapon he raised on us was-" And she was probably a bit disappointed about the following, seriously if she had thought of going down to some cybernetic dude in the sewers the weapon could have at least been more interesting! "actually pretty standard weaponry, a silenced pistol. And I has just put myself between him and Shaya asking him to stop and just let us go -"

Again a dramatic pause, cause you had to make the story good right? "He did! He had us more cornered than bunnies by a ferret and he lowered his weapon and spoke...." Her face took on a thinking look. "And this is going to sound most ridiculous but I know his voice, and I swear he knew me, and am convinced that's why he let us over hear him saying he dealt with the security breach and that he'll meet up with ... with... maybe his team mates? Any way he called them his Ghosts and then disappeared." She looks at Raph here - admitting she had been soooo fool hardy as to get herself and her friend into such deep shit. Only to be delivered by some lucky act of mercy. "But I swear I have heard his voice, a lot, I know whom he is - even if right now I can't for the life of me tell you who or how... but I do know that man." She groans hating this knowing but not knowing, but knowing!

"In any case Shaya and I could not really believe he was gone, and that our escape was at hand so we crept through the sewers for hours afraid of being followed or tailed before deciding the guy must have called off whatever search there was and heading out by a subway maintenance door and decided to split up, Shaya took her work heading to her home and I came back here..." She concludes mostly dry smiling and beginning to head them both towards the kitchen, maybe he was not hungry right now, but she needed a hot beverage, and he was getting one too even if not thirsty, it was warm his belly at least.

And giving him time to process and give his thoughts on the matter. At least it would hopefully distract him a bit from his own nights troubles.

Ugh. Placing April into a protective bubble had crossed Raphael's mind. Maybe he would suggest an indestructible dome to Donnie for his next project...


..oh, right. Donnie wasn't speaking to him. And after what just happened with Love, chances were, he never would again. Sighing deeply at his own internal struggles, but still paying full attention to April, nerves frayed by her close call. He did as she suggested and hung the soaked jacket on the door, then made his way into the den with her. Giving her a concerned look as he took up residence on the couch, and reached for her hand, tugging her down to sit beside him. A massive heavily muscled arm gently wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him, then nuzzled a kiss against the top of her head. He knew the night could have had a different outcome for her and her adventurous friend, and he was grateful to have her here tonight. A life without April O'Neil in it? Well, he didn't want no part of such a cruel alternate reality....


"Well, think on it, Ape. We need to know who he is so we can make sure he ain't gonna be a problem..." Even though it sounded as if the man in the high tech suit with a cheese-ola weapon had let them escape, he still needed to be sure. Spy on him. Gather needed facts before making an informed decision on the man's fate. If he even held a tinge of a threat to April, he needed to be dealt with.


"I'm with you. I don't think this outbreak is what the media is tryin' to spoon feed the citizens. It's somethin' big... and... I think that maybe you and Case should go outta town for awhile, until this madness blows over..."

And it seemed it was her turn to be soothed.

Had she become frazzled abit as she spoke? Yes of course she had, excited and upset about the near miss, and frustrated at the fact she could not pin point exactly where she had heard the man's voice before!

She heaves a sigh under Raphael's arm and snugs into his side kicking off her boots finally to bring her legs up to loosely hug her knees so she was a smallish ball tucked into him eyes half closing at the friendly brotherly peck - taking another deep breath.

"Well when I think of the voice I think of my dad...and oddly enough the lady that used to clean for us sometimes when Dad was still here... Ida, she owns and runs the cafe just across from us, where I get my bread and got those hangover muffins I brought you... and where you birthday cake came from." Sighs again and shakes her head just a little. "As Master Splinter would say patience.... take a deep breath..." Does so... looking up at him from her spot her lips curling in a smile. "Awww Raphie you know Casey and I could never just run, not when it may be just as dangerous for you all as much as us. And now Angel is home too.. I have no doubt the same goes for her." She felt the smile widen here.

"I wonder what wild adventures the girl has to share with us? When she left us with barely anything, a small bag of personal identification, the cloths on her back and heartache from losing her grandmother... she has been gone to very long." She wonders quietly. Not really to change the subject of the military cyber man, she just needed time to let her mind not focus on it, let the recollection of this person's voice call to her mind whom he was and where she had meet him without forcing. "But your right... something is definitely not right about it all this - maybe... seeing as he let us go, perhaps if we can track him we can ask the man and find out."

Having April so close and nestled up against him felt... nice. A forbidden sense of comfort came over him; one that his own tormenting mind cursed itself for letting in. Indeed, Raphael was often his own worst enemy, through no fault of his own. Having no control over his moods and depression, they usually dictated his outlook and mentality. But now, there was only warmth and closeness to one of the only people whom would never judge him and always had his shell.


A low, contented churr emitted as she spoke, and he nuzzled her hair, giving her shoulder a warming rub. Rare signs of affection that would surely send his family into shock. Such gestures were usually reserved for a gravely ill family member, and usually deluded when spectators were present. He had a bad ass reputation to protect, after all. One that would spare him of being hurt, but April knew that raw side of him and at his worse, never attempted to hide it from her. Even he had to admit defeat sometimes and she was always there to defuse him. Casey being his human counterpart, it was no wonder the guy fell for her. She had the patience and understanding to deal with them.


When April talked about Angel, Raph gave a small nod, remembering how worried he had been when the girl just packed up and left. So many times he wanted to reach out to her, to make sure she was okay, but there was no way to contact her. Now it seemed she was back, and Raphael was eager to catch up.



"Have you spoken to her any more?" He asked, curious if she would be paying a visit anytime soon. He wanted to see her, to put to rest all of his worries that she has slipped off the face of the earth. Like him, she had demons. He wanted to remind her that while he may not always be the best company or give the best advice or say the right thing, he was there for her.


Then the conversation came back to this outbreak and Raph's features dropped once more. Indeed, it was something. It was unfortunate that he and his family were at odds right now. Even though the city and a normal existence was off limits to them, he had an overwhelming feeling that New York was about to need them more than ever before...


"Yeah, I know you and Case won't just tuck tail and run.. as much as I'd love for you to... but if this thing gets big, I want you two to be safe... and Angel..." Another nuzzle and gentle squeeze. "An'.. if you think cupcake lady knows somethin' about the military guy, then maybe you should speak to her. I'd do it, but I don't wanna be responsible for givin' a lil ol' lady a heart attack..." Though, he knew the elderly weren't always as fragile as they seemed. He couldn't recall the numerous times during his younger and more 'helpful' years he had been beaten with walking canes or walkers, old lady purses or had dentures tossed at him. Yeah, those reactions added to the mental scars, but it was a learning experience. It didn't matter if he was trying to help-- humans would only see the flesh of a devil, and not the angel within.

Those churrs.

April remembered the first time she had heard the noise. Of course she had heard real turtle churls before. But when she had first heard Michelangelo burst out with the sound at one of her friendly cuddly head rubbings she had literally gone to pieces in a fit of giggles.

Of course Mikey had thought it was adorable and kept right on making the sound - obnoxiously loud according to his brothers.

Since that time she had heard a variety of the churr and growls and snarls and other noises they made - though this contented sound of Raphael's was a rarity. And that thought made her want to giggle, but she did not. Feeling the nuzzling and shoulder rubbings and shifting her knees a little out to the side, relaxing, sliding an arm across his plastron. As much as she safe guarded them all, Casey, Master Splinter, Angel and her green brothers they too were her safety net, support, her guardians and right now was no exception. She blinks tiredly head still tilted to watch his face more and more convinced her earlier plotting was right. She nods. "I had not made any solid plans to see Angel, or called her back. You know how she is, best we let her extend the invitation. Though I am literally dying to speak to her since she fell off the face of the earth for us all." She growls softly, it had frustrated her to no end even with her nosey know it all smarts and even Donnie's help they had not been able to get in touch with the dark Angel. Her thoughts were settling, not so jumping from one topic to the next and back again no she was calmer and content herself.

"Ida might know something -" She grins a little at that, "Yeah like to see you try scaring that woman - she's five foot nothing and looks half her age weighs probably as much as me soaking wet but woman can swing a ladle like Master Splinter his cane, I swear the old gal is a honey badger in human clothing." She sniggers. "I've known her all my life living here, if she ever saw you she'd be like 'finally someone strong enough to shift that damned chest freezer in the back - come with me please' heh heh heh." She did her best 'old lady' impersonation.

"Casey and I will only run when you guys do Raphie." She smiles.

Raphael gave a nod, understanding that it was best to let Angel come to them in her own time. Though, like April, he was dying to catch up with her. To hear why she felt she needed to flee without so much as a goodbye, though Raph certainly wouldn't press that issue. They were much the same. Needing privacy and would only open up when they were ready He was curious to hear about her adventures, but most of all.. he just wanted to make sure that she was alright.


Hearing about how fiesty Ida was earned a quiet chuckle. The ol gal sounded like something else. "Heh.. I wouldn't mind movin'.. whatever.. for her. But, I ain't had good luck with the elderly. Walkin' canes hurt like a son of a snapper, and don't even get me started on walker..." He trailed off, not wanting to dive into that hurtful can of worms. Humans were cruel, didn't matter what life stage. Babies were okay, he guessed. They cried about everything.


As he feared, April and Casey weren't leaving without him. Of of course it worried him, but he would just have to make sure the two stayed safe... and Angel... wherever she was. "Yeah.. I figured. But, you gotta promise me that if and when shit hits the fan... you'll stay close. No gettin' yerself into trouble because....I dunno what I'd do without you..."

Smiling and her eyes half closed as he spoke April gave a nod. "Of course - once the chips come down Casey and I will be as close as we can be - to be on hand to round out team numbers and help, be back up and medics and extra hands on the field. And I bet Angel will also." She whispers, no matter grief had driven their young friend away - she felt, knew Angel would echo the sentiments. No matter how long she had been gone no doubt the girl still cared for them as she had. "I hope whatever she had set out to find in the world after her grandmother died she found and thats why she is home."

She grins at Raph and nods, "I know - if whacks from Sensei's cane are anything to go by. And seriously I'm tempted to say you try seeing the old gal with me some time just to get that dang thing moved." She smiles faintly. "Always kind to me and Robyn she is, and paid me well whenever I baby sat her granddaughter in the past. Strange girl that one, a total loner, never see her with any friends... but so kind and friendly it baffles me why." She was sleepy - comforted and comfortable and all safe right now, and it showed by her reminiscing chatter she knew - but her green brothers and Splinter always had that effect on her after a looong day. "I remember the first time I baby sat for Ida, Ee was six and I fourteen at the time. And the day went great, I took her to the park, we played and watched movies and had a pizza and she did not fight me when I put her to bed." She grins recalling this event ten years ago... her adopted lil brothers would have been mere children too then, not much older than her charge. "I was doing my home work in the quiet... when I hear thumps and chattering... I thought Ee was just going to the loo - got up to check on her and found her in my folks room looking under the bed with my flashflight. I lightly scolded her for being in there - then asked 'What were you doing looking under the bed?' and she said," She sniggers pillowing her head on the shoulder of the arm around her imitating a child's young hopeful voice -

"I was going to find the monster and give her my pizza crusts and make friends with her."

She sighs amused thoroughly, "That stuck with me then, now I recall it and still think it was adorable and so - warm for a six year old to say."

Also lulled and comforted by good company, a warm couch and friendly chatter that usually only happened with April, Raphael was slowly becoming relaxed. Besides, such emotional outbursts as he had experienced earlier often left him drained on both a psychological  and physical level. Amazing how mere 'feelings' could completely break you down. But despite those hardships and being an outcast, not only to the entire world, but within his own species as well, the hot-head knew that he was fortunate and blessed to have someone with April's outstanding qualities as a friend. Most people went through a lifetime and hundreds of friends without ever experiencing that depth of character from their acquaintances.




Sighing with contentment and nuzzling against her in comfort, Raph gave a nod in agreement to April's statement about Angel. Hopefully she had outran her demons; discovered whatever peace she sought out. He hoped the grief was gone, but knew that their friend would always miss her grandmother. A part of her heart would forever be missing. While he had never lost anyone close to him, not in a physical sense anyway, he had a pretty good idea of the grief that Angel had experienced. It plagues him in nightmares. Losing his father to age, or a brother to the enemy. He would always wake from this mind torture in a fit of tears and would stealthy sneak out to check in on his family while they still slept, unaware how the grief of their proposed deaths affected him....



...but now he feared that he had lost them on a completely different level....



Exhausted from the reoccurring fears,  Raph shook the thoughts from his head and focused on April's earlier adventures in babysitting Ida's granddaughter, even chuckling as he imagined a little girl with a flashlight trying to befriend a monster. How brave she must have been to be so willing to face what most feared head on, concluding that the little one must have felt 'the monster' was misunderstood....


"Yeah, that's the beauty of kids... they're more willing to accept... well, some of 'em.." Resting his chin against the top of her head, he sighed. "Then, life changes 'em, makes 'em cold and less willin' to accept what they can't understand." His tone was quiet and held a hint of sadness. The reason that very few would ever accept them. And what of this 'Ee'? Had life hardened her and made her cruel in that sense. Would she now scream in the face of the monster that she had been so eager to befriend early on?

"An'... maybe she was a loner back then because she knew how cruel people can be.." She sounded like a smart girl, for sure.



A faint, unseen frown tugged at his lips as he recalled his own childhood. "When I was little, the 'monster' under the bed was always human.." He confessed, knowing April wouldn't be offended because she knew the capabilities and shallowness of her own species. "Master Splinter would always warn us about them as children, wantin' us to develop a healthy fear of what humans were...are capable of. How they would treat us. Cage us like animals and cut us apart. It scared me.. stills scares me. But durin' my early teens, I thought.. maybe Sensei was wrong. Maybe.. just maybe they weren't the monsters he would have us believe, for our own safety. So.. I tried to help where I could." Giving her a gentle squeeze, silently conveying his gratitude that she wasn't part of the majority. "My first ..'encounter' and rescue was a lil old lady. A group of thugs tried to snatch her bag and when the stubborn ol' goat refused, one of them tried to kill her. I intervened, accidentally exposin' myself in the process.. but it was all good, because I saved her.. right?  Wrong. Instead of thanks, I prolly got hit with her cane at least five times before I could get past the shock and vanish. The bruises healed but... her words.." And he trailed off, even now not wanting April to know how sensitive he truly was, and words could actually cause him more damage than anything physical.


"So..'Ee'.. what's she like now?" He asked, not only to change the subject but because he was genuinely curious about this human. "Guessin' she don't have parents if her grandmother raised 'er...."